HOW IMPRUDENT COULD I BE??!!

"I'd choose you even in my next world
I will make sure you never lack
Because you're now my missing part
Which I never wish to be torn apart
I've finally found my better half
Who am going to settle down with
And make sure we bear intelligent kids
Because we were made for each other"

I wish I knew they were empty promises
But you made sure I fell for it
Why did you choose my heart to toy with?
I foolishly fell for your charms
Because you always welcomed me in your arms
How many more did they embrace?
For how long had you planned to play this?
So bad you're not a good actor
Had I trusted my instincts
Maybe I would have read the signs
When you came home late and lied with the office
And sometimes missed home because you were with the 'boys'
How foolish could I be not to read between the lines

I was dumb enough not to notice
That you never came back with the same shirt you left with
Because the weekends were meant for your side chicks
Was I that much blinded?
By the fact that you always provided
And I confused that with being loved
How foolish could I be,not to read between the lines

Maybe I wasn't enough for you
Because I lost shape after giving birth
And I was no longer the young girl you met
And now all you wanted was that sweet sixteen
But you forgot you were no longer a teen
So, all the girls wanted was your wallet
And they couldn't love you if you had empty pockets
Why did you choose to pass me through this?
All I did was to make you happy
Because together we made a cute family
But 'Till death do us part' was just a fallacy
In your eyes I was just a bimbo

    ©CrucialArts✍️

THE ABYSS YOU LEFT ME IN!!

    THE ABYSS YOU LEFT ME IN!!
In your eyes is where I knew love exists
And in the same eyes I experienced heartbreak
Did you really have to pass me through this
I thought with you I would walk down the isle
I always considered you my ride or die
But all you did to me was lie
You always hurt me and made me cry

The nights got colder and longer!
Coffee was not tasty anymore, it tasted quinine water. 
You always asked me to make latte for you, as we devoured the night together. 
Watching Game of Thrones. 
I been the queen to your throne. 
But i was thrown under the bus. 
Whack
Toxic teenage love.

I have avoided watching traffic at dusk
Because it always reminds me of you. 
The lights by then were bright and appealing
Honks and hoots were like a symphony
It was a spectre when the horizons would swallow the sun into a sunset oh so beautiful.
But now all that feels lifeless. 
Boring. 


In the numerous letters you sent me in high school, i had found a reason to believe in love.
I pinned them in my locker during class time, 
I took them to the dormitory with me at 9:45 P.M after group discussion.
And i would passionately kiss each of every letter you sent. Kiss, then sleep. 
It was a red letter day. Literally. 
But life comes at you fast, and in the same letters is where i tasted heartbreak.


Insomnia. 
I hid my last seen on WhatsApp because i didn't wish to see you online. 
I had no courage to block you, well i was new to such pain.
But inside i was caving in, i was still weak for you. 
I would stalk you, during my insomnia times. See if there were traces of you, and if so, traces of humanity left in you. 
Your statuses talked of someone who had moved on, someone who had found yet another one to deceive and deflower. 


But because time heals, yeah i did heal. 
Music helped, reading made me forget my troubles. 
I stopped wallowing in the abyss you left me in. 
I grew strong. Resilient. 
I was doing this for myself.
And for you reader who's spent  time to read me. 

#StaySafe 


…………………

™©

I WISH I HAD A MENTOR!!

I WISH I HAD A MENTOR

How would it be to have one who's a pastor?
Would he always talk about the scripture?
And talk of how the world will end in rapture
Would he ever tell me about day to day activities
Or I would have to know that from my neighbour
I wish to have a mentor

How would it be,to have one who is a doctor
Would she always tell me to drink enough water
And pass by the market buying some fruits
Would it always be about how to live healthy?
Or we would sometimes walk down the streets
Hand in hand narrating history
Or rather how our week has been
I don't want to always talk about balanced diet
I wish to have a mentor

How would it be, to have one who is a teacher?
Would they always compare life to Mathematics
Or they'll tell me it's as easy as ABC
I don't want to always talk English
Sometimes it would be nice to speak Swahili
And embrace our national language
I wish to have a mentor


How would it be, to have one who's a conductor
I think this would be a great idea
Because they're used to handling all kinds of people
And have stopped by so many stages already
So he will teach me how to control my anger
Teach me who and when to answer 
I wish to have a mentor

How would it be to have one who's a photographer?
I guess this would be the best feeling ever
They would help me view life in different angles
And teach me where and when to focus
Also teach me how to handle all forms of trials
I think I need a mentor who's a photographer
Because I truly wish to have a mentor
  © CrucialArts ✍️

WHAT IS LIFE!?

WHAT IS LIFE!?

Why does life have to be so indistinct?
Why does the world have to be so unfair?
I think I should just follow my instinct
I should just let the rope decide my fate
Or just take an overdose of this pills
What if I just throw myself into the sea?
And feed the crocodiles instead of the termites
How happy will they be to feed on such a sweet meal
But then again,how sad will my family be
For not giving me the 'last respect'
But what respect does a murderer deserve?
Shouldn't they be happy I've saved them many bills?
And having to meet every evening
Before deciding on Which day to let the soils swallow me
I've always had suicidal thoughts
Every time having different plots
Of how I'll end my life without much pain
But then again my family comes into my mind
What will happen to mama when am laid down 6 feet?
When she sees them throw soil on my coffin
With the pastor saying
"Dust unto dust and Ash unto Ash"
What will happen to my siblings?
Seeing their elder sister resting unwillingly
What example will I have set
Ofcourse heaven will not be so welcoming
So how will it be
Burning in hell endlessly?
Suicide is a sin
So my destination will only be one
But I've always wished to be in heaven
It's already my destined haven
So,,hey life!!
Please stop being too harsh
Be abit kind to me
My thoughts aren't so welcoming
To do this am not willing
   © CrucialArts ✍️

LOST LOVE

  LOST LOVE!!!

 ~~ Ochy ~~
You are the special one I met,
You were my first love taste,
That love you gave me?
I was so stupid in it believe me,
I was drunk in it trust me.

Yours were the eyes I could look into forever,
You were my lover, I could see you whenever,
Your voice? I could hear it till the end of time,
I’ve always wanted you to be at all times mine.
.
We were once colleagues, we unconditionally got involved in this life, got involved again, and always wanted to get even more involved.
.
Am missing you,
I’ve once had you plus your heart,
From my side, the earth moved out of its axis,
My world no longer has oxygen,
The sun never rises every morning like it used to,
It’s a cold world, things too cold for me to hold,
At times too hot, too hot to handle,
Am living a confused life.
.
I miss the times that we used to be,
Without you my days are longer than they ever seemed to be,
My nights are full of bloodsucking mosquitoes and lots of noise from crickets,
You left my heart cut open, moved from my chest and thrown for the street dogs to feed on,
You left me in a world full of uncertainty,
I lost you,
I lost a best friend, a lover,
I lost you who fills my heart with joy,
You who fills me with laughter and makes for me a habitable world,.
.
Believe me now,
When am saying that am struggling to understand what am going through,
I remember our love was such a unique bond and lacking it makes me feel crazy,
My friends tell me that I must be crazy though none of them knows how to help me sort out my emotions.
.
I know I was the one in the wrong,
But it was just once, once ever done mistake,
Mistake promised not to be repeated,
But in a moment of you saying a “yes”, a “no” and a “maybe”, you felt like I’d never exist in your life.
You had to make me exit your life.
And now you never want to talk to me,
You never want anything to do with me,
You’ve left me in pain.
I feel destroyed,
I feel rejected.
.
And now I want you back,
Let us make up a new romance,
Let there be a new us,
Come and finish my desire to have back my once-beloved girl.

    ~~ Crucial ~~
Dear Ex
What are you trying to amend?
Loving me you always pretended
Using me is all you wanted
Why are you back,I know it's pretence
Don't waste my time,you don't mean it
All that you say is how you started
The last time you made me fall for you
So don't even try to think that I've forgotten
How you oozed sweetness well smitten
How do you even expect me to believe it?
That you've changed your ways
That you're serious and you mean what you say?
Hey dude,don't start this game
I am not ready to play
You always hurt me night and day
You didn't even bother to sugarcoat some lies
Or did you think I wasn't made of clay?
That I was an iron that couldn't experience pain?
I truly loved you,that's why I let you stay
Hoping and praying that you would realise your mistakes
Hoping that some day you would change
But how wrong I was
So! dear ex,don't try to rekindle the lost love
Don't even dare think we'll ever work
I can never take you back
Not after all you did to me sometimes back
The way you did then,do it now,just pack
Leave me alone and don't look back
Because you and me can never be one
Me being yours,I am totally done

IF I WERE!!

       IF I WERE!!
If I were a writer
I would write all my problems down on a paper
I would let the world know how my life is bitter
I would let everybody compare it to red pepper
But unfortunately am not a writer

If I were a waiter
I would serve people with my struggles
I would wish them to offload some from my shoulders
I would want to live a life of less hustles
I would wish to maintain my good services
But unfortunately am not a waiter

If I were a driver
I would drive people to their destinations
I would drive crazy the girl that I love
I would make sure that I never cause accidents
But unfortunately am not a driver

If I were a conducter
I would never be rude to my customers
I would treat every one of you equally
I would always take you to your homes safely
I would never lie to you that there's a seat at the back
Only for you to go and sit in packs
But unfortunately am not a conducter


If I were a footballer
I would always make my country proud
I would make sure my team is celebrated all round
Scoring goals in every game played both home and away
And bagging every trophy that comes my way
But unfortunately am not a footballer

If I were a singer
I would only sing songs of praises
And make sure their hands rises
When singing along to my songs
Y'all would everyday praise with my hymns
But unfortunately am not a singer

If I were a preacher
I would only preach the good news
And listen to people's views
Tell them more about the Jews
Remind them of how God's love for us never reduces
But unfortunately am not a preacher

If I were a doctor
I would treat every patient with care
I would never focus on money first
Because I know how it feels to lack
And how it feels to lie on a hospital bed helpless
But unfortunately am not a doctor
          © CrucialArts ✍️

HEART ATTACK!!

                         HEART ATTACK!!
I always thought you had my back
I always thought I was main in your many packs
I always considered myself lucky to own your heart
Little did I know that I was just a member in an audience
And my best place for you was at the back
Why did you choose to break my vulnerable heart?
Was I that wrong to fall for your unending charms?
You're so good at playing your cards
Not mentioning your choice of words
Did I really deserve your spite?
You were so good in gaining my trust
Not knowing I was in for a thrust
It's too late for I wish I knew
But all the same I wish I knew
That you were just like the morning dew
You wouldn't last long before your next victim was due
While I was here building catles with you,
You were out there hunting your next catch
I wasn't ready for this heart attack
But I hope it won't take long for me to conceal
Though I promise you,you will never find peace
You just don't break a heart that easily and leave
    © CrucialArts ✍️

SUNFLOWER

Hey sunflower
Am in love with your yellow colour
They always say yellow ni ya waKamba
But I've always begged to differ
Because iwe faded ama iwe imeshika
Yellow will always remain a beautiful colour
Si unaona indomie walikuchagua for their cover
Na si hao tu,ata Ile sabuni ya kupiga shower ya sawa
Na zinginezo mingi zile sitataja
Sii that means you're presentable na wanakupenda
You're so bright,let's say ndio maana pia sun inachoma
Kuna vile ata moon ingekuchoose usiku ikifika
Lakini sawa sababu with it's colour pia inamulika
Sijui niwe nawe kila mahali to try and brighten my future
Ama what comes along with that?
Kuna enzi nilipenda Sana red
Lakini vile naona Sasa to me it's long dead
Siku hizi najipata nikirock sana white
Ni ngumu kuimaintain but am trying my best
For now I'll not talk about the rest
How about black?
Why do you represent the worst?
Naona wakikuchagua wakati wa mazishi
But I guess me nitakuchagua siku ya harusi
We'll talk more hio siku ikikaribia
I guess I'll have my friend talk about purple

  ~ PurpleDiva ~

Hello Purple, My lovely best friend,
They just had to put you last,
But si unajua the last is always the best
You are so amazing by yourself,
You represent loyalty in friends
And royalty as well,
Sijasahau Crucial hana job bila purple
And the flowers you come in just smell sweet
Juzi nilicheki Teddy bear zako pia zinarock
Shades zako pia ni most kuliko my fingers
Humbly unashikilia rainbow pale mwisho
Urembo wako btw washangaza.
Alafu harufu yako ikikam in perfumes, detergents ama freshners pia.
You are the all rounded girl,
Joy of all trades is you,
Purple tumalizie tu juu ata kwa rainbow humind kumalizia
I would write more but this is enough for today

© CrucialArts ✍️
© Purplediva

FRIENDS!

      FRIENDS!!

Hey gurl
How have you been?
Umepotelea wapi siku hizi?
Nakuonea tu mtandaoni
Hizo ndizo huwa salamu za the generation we are in
Ukiwa lucky sana wanakutumia kaplease call me
Beyond that ni follow for follow back pale IG
Alaf we'll be seeing how each of us is progressing
Lakini mess kidogo uhitaji wao usaidizi
Ndo utajua you're just friends pale FB
Because the excuses that comes along with it
Thinking that they could help you was a big mistake
Am sorry Kuna kamradi nimesort tu sahii
Waaah,,I wish ungeniambia ata Jana
Ni time tu nimelipia ya chama
Unaeza ulizia kwa Kamaa?
Mwingine atakushow vile pia yeye ako down
But ametoka tu kupost vile amewin kajackpot pale town
Incase you fall sick and you get admitted
That's when they mobilise and visit
They post you all over their accounts
God forbid but incase the worst happens
They'll write long captions of how you were friends
Who helped each other in all times of needs
You were long time and loving buddies
Wishing you would come back koz washakumiss
But do they really miss you or they miss your memes?
They'll even contribute for your send off
But they never bothered to help you stand on your feet
Hey there! Choose your friends wisely
   
            © CrucialArts✍️

IF I TRIED KISSING YOU…

If I tried kissing you
Would you kiss me back?
Or you would show me your back?
Would you resist and pack?
Leave to nowhere and never come back?
Leaving behind a broken and regretful heart
Wishing that I shouldn't have tried that
And I should have asked first
Because your opinion too should count
But I would follow behind you and apologise
Because I can't stand seeing you leave
Because I always want us to live
Together even in our next life
If trying to kiss you is wrong
Then I ought to have known all time long
Because in my head I thought that it was mutual
Little did I know I was in my own world
All alone and no-one to comfort me
This feeling makes me sick
All this while I was a patient soul
But all I've left now are the footprints of your sole
Walking away from my door
Away from the place you always called home
It's now an empty hole
But in it there's a broken soul
Which I don't think will ever again be whole
Because I ruined whatever I considered my very own
I just hope one day you'll look back to where you're from
And come back so that we can rebuild our home
Because without you I'll forever be incomplete
      © CrucialArts✍️

Mama I've become a disappointment
I made a girl pregnant
I told her to terminate but she said she can't
I thought she was just like the rest
Who aborted after I gave them the meds
But as for her,she said she'll cope with it
What do I do mama?
I see her daily
She's a girl next door
Worst of all
We reside in the same floor
So you get it,we are in the same plot

She still has the same smile on her face
She lives as if nothing happened
She as usual does her daily routines
But on the other side,
I am still guilty of my acts
I even tried taking my life
But unfortunately she came to my rescue
Could she be the one mama?
Show me a sign before it's too late
I might live with regrets
If I don't collect the broken pieces
Or Should I move to a far away place?
Where I will not be seeing her attending her clinics?
Where I will not know how she is progressing?
Where I will not have to meet her on my way out?
I will no longer see her tummy protruding
I will no longer see my kid grow inside her tummy
And so I guess I will live happily
I can never face her directly

What did I do?
Why did I do this?
She treated me like her very own
She took care of me like her first born
But my foolish self let all that go
She's so different mama
I know someday I will have to deal with karma
I will move to a far away place
Because I can no longer stand her
Seeing her all the time makes me remember
How I couldn't be a good lover
But I instead messed her
I literally broke her
I repeatedly used her
she thought our love was magical
But I knew we couldn't last long
Because my motive was different
Please mama,forgive me
I am already a mess
I already regret
       © CrucialArts ✍️

   I THOUGHT WRONG!!

Girl you pressed me like a big button
I dropped from top to bottom
My wallet is all you focused on
I didn't know that my heart you took like a toy
All the while you treated me like a boy
You tossed my feelings like a ball in the air
Excuses were all you gave when I wanted to see you
But you always hit me up when your bills were due
If I may ask,was I that helpful?
Because I always came through
When you most needed me
I foolishly fell for your traps
I merrily offered myself
To you I was an open book
Little did I know I was dealing with a crook
Within no time I would be meaningless to you
And true to you I became useless
When I ran broke
You flipped me like a coin
I started seeing you with John
You started ignoring my calls
My messages you didn't respond
Visiting your house,ooops!you already changed your locks
It now dawned on me that I was truly dumped
Just like a used and useless can
In your life I became banned
You were nowhere to be traced
My hurt heart is now in pieces
I am still nursing my unseen bruises
My mind is always racing and fathoming why and how you did this
Did I really deserve it?
What did I do wrong?
Or didn't I love you like you deserved?
Didn't I take good care of you like you always wished?
I thought being with you would make my dreams true
The Ups and downs of life,would be easy with you
All along I was wrong thinking of me being with you
Now I see you living happily with John
I don't know whether he is the next john
Or your love to him is genuine
Did you use me as a brigde to get to him?
Because you knew him through me
And all along he called you shem
who played who?
Did he betray me or did you?
I am lamenting over spilt milk which I don't think is worth tearing for
But my life is slowly falling apart
I think am slowly drifting into depression because of my thoughts for you
Somebody tell me this ain't true
That I was dumped for a friend so close
That I was left because my bank account ran blank
All I see now is total darkness
In my life you brought brightness
Or so I thought
All you wished for
I willingly bought and brought to you as surprises
And now that my pockets are less productive
You choose John as your partner
I promise not to tamper
I see how well he pampers you
I will let you go
Because thoughts of you might make my mind blow
I still wanna live and see you glow
And maybe to a wife material you'll grow
All the best to my friend John

©CrucialArts✍🏽

             CENSUS

Ahem!! (Clears throat)

Your schedule we interrupt,
We have something abrupt,
A meeting,welcome, 
Join us in this meeting,
That will nurture our future, A meeting for all the genders, 
Census is the agenda,
The urgent agenda 

The government want to know where you live
Who you live with
How you make ends meet
And whether you gat kids

Wait,what's your tribe?
Where were you born?
With the people around,how do you bond?
Are you employed or you just loiter around?

Uhm,how is the government leading you?
The promises they made to you
Are they true?
Are they due?
Ama zilishazikwa kwenye kaburi la sahau?

Don't fear 
Speak up
Say it
As long as it's the truth
Don't sugarcoat
Let's walk together in this

How is the economy
Has it risen or it's favouring?
How are your children's classes?
Are they well built or the kids are shivering?
How are the sewers?
Are they well managed?

Anyway,
accidents happen daily on the highways
Reckless driving and rules breaking
Some said words flow with the wind
They are never followed

Hey,
It's census season
Let's wake up and reason
Together, this information we gather


✌🏽peace

            HE TOOK MY PURITY

My eyes were right
They were wide open when I sighted you

My hair was right
It stood still and straight when I was approached by you

My heart was right,
It pumped hard and two times faster than normal when u couldn't stop staring at me.

My entire body was right
It was shaken like I was in the cold while it was sunny out there.

My tongue and lips wronged me,
They couldn't allow me to scream for help though I guess it was because of the pen knife you pointed at me.
Your threats scared me.

My legs wronged me,
They couldnt help me run away from you

But was it because of how I walked past you?
Was it becoz of my beauty?
Was it becoz of my dress?
The dress which betrayed me and fell off just the moment I needed it most?
Just as you wanted?

Who should I blame?

The darkness?
It betrayed me
It couldn't let the war angels see the demon doing evil.

The bushes?
They saw it but couldnt help me when you forced yourself into me.

The birds?
They saw it but they neither couldn't give me a hand.

And after you were done,
You walked away with my purity.!
So how am I going to explain this?
How do I even start?
My body is weak,
you made me ill.
I dont wanna live another week,
Or should I just embrace the pills?

Aw its nothing!
What am thinking of right now is how this rope worked in the necks of those in the stories.

©CrucialArts

       I AM SORRY

I'm sorry 
I loved you so much
But I think I wasn't your perfect match
Maybe I was just a patch
Though I can't deny,I enjoyed every touch

I'm sorry,but if I may ask
Is that what they call short and sweet?
Though out to your friends my name you tainted
I can't regret
Yours I beautifully painted
It doesn't matter whether I even sugarcoated
But at least I can say I positively impacted 

I might not check on you on a daily
But do you know why?
Because I don't wanna fall for you again
I try as much to get you out of my mind
Because you're one of a kind

I'm sorry I failed to fulfill some promises
But time would tell whether am a good promise keeper
Of course I know I am even though it takes time to deliver

I'm sorry
I might be saying this when it's too late
But I always thought you would forever be my mate
Maybe at some point I was timid
But trust me my mind wasn't that rigid

And Finally
I am sorry I was unable to love you to your standard
You always termed me as difficult
Moreso difficult to understand
And yeah,that I will always concur

Am never good at lullabies
Neither am I good at good-byes
But I guess am good at by the ways
Even on the high ways

Written with love

©CrucialArts

UNAJUA NAKUPENDA

Sitauliza mbona sikukumeet mapema
Hio ni proverb ya walioolewa
God's time ndio sawa
Si wahenga walishatwambia!
Hii ndio time perfect ya God
So nitakutunza kama Gold
Itakuwa better kwanza tukigrow old
Pamoja day and night tutahit hii road
Ina milima na mabonde but nikiwa nawe sitaona zikiwa bold
Kuna vile nishaona zote signs
Life certificate yetu nilieka sign
Usiulize mbona sikuitisha yako
Si me plus you is equal to one?😉
Meaning one signature was enough 😊
I will never make you regret
Am ready to make our life great
And of course make our friends salivate
Not for sweet foods but for our great marriage 💘

To be continued ………………

all rights reserved ❤

ASANTE MAMA

       ASANTE MAMA

"Mwanangu soma kwa bidii uwe na maisha mema"
Hayo ni maneno niliyoambiwa na mamangu nikiwa mchanga
Nayakumbuka wa leo ilhali sikuambiwa jana
Bado yanarun so fresh kwa mind ni kweli yamenibana
Niliyatilia maanani hadi wa leo yananiongoza
Najikaza sana nipambane na hali angalau nitoboe hii maisha
Daily kushoto kulia sikosi pressure
Lakini namtegema Mola ndio yote niweze kuepuka
In my prayers lazima nimkumbuke wangu mama
Alinionesha njia life yangu ikawa ya maana
Kila Jumapili kanisani alifanya nikatangulia
Mfukoni alihakikisha sikukosa sadaka
Ata kama ingekuwa ni shilingi moja
Bora nimestretch mkono kwa kikapu nishukuru Maulana
Tulishinda njaa mchana kutwa na jioni pia tungelala tumbo kavu
Hatungeafford angalau mkate kavu
Lakini yote tisa kumi lazima tungeshukuru
Asante mama kwa kunifunza mema na mabaya
Ukaniambia kuna heaven na kunayo hell
Ningekosea kiboko lazima ingeland kwa yangu body
Liwe kosa ndogo ama kubwa,ulinifunza kosa ni kosa

Shuleni pia mwalimu alinifunza maadili
Kuhesabu moja,mbili,tatu hadi kumi
Akanifunza kutegua vitendawili na kutumia methali
Shukrani kwa mama sababu angetaka angekaa nami nyumbani
Elimu ndio taa
Tia bidii ndio uweze kung'aa
Shuleni waliniambia
Ndio utimize ndoto zako za kupaa
Lakini si pia talanta husaidia?
Hilo hawakuniambia
Ila nilikuja gundua
Shukran sana to the one above
Mahali nimefika ni yako favour
Kila ninacho ni wewe umenipa

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