DEAR SON!!

Dear Son, 

it's been a while since you left 

I didn't even get a chance to hold you in my arms

You didn't give me a chance to say hello

To atleast hear your first cry

To atleast welcome you to the world

You came ready to leave

You didn't experience the air we breathe

You didn't get a chance to see the outside

You only went with the memories of my womb

You never fed on your own

Feel the sun on your tender skin

Nor Hear the noise in the neighborhood. 

Dear Son,

You crossed the bridge to soon

Weren't you eager to meet your Fam?

To know your Mom and Dad?

To know whether you had other siblings.

We were all waiting for your arrival

Your aunts and grandma ready to ululate 

But it's all good, it's God's will.

You know what,

I still look forward to being with you one day

I don't know whether I'll recognize you,

But I can't wait to hold you in my arms

See your tiny fingers wrapped around mine

See your eyes squint to the unusual brightness 

See you playfully throwing your arms and feet.

I wish we had even a day together

Just to tell you how much I love you

Show you how much you meant to us.

If only God gives reasons as to why things happen the way they do,

Then I'd have asked Him why he took you so soon

Before the world changed your innocence 

But maybe I'll ask Him in the next life

with you by my side 

Every day I look to the sky and hope you're doing the same

Looking down,watching me wave at you

Before I cross the bridge and come be with you

I promise to never leave your side

I'll try compensate for all the years lost

Hang in there buddy,

I am almost home. 

© CrucialArts 

I WISH YOU NEVER LEFT!!

Why did you leave without me Mama!

Guess what has been happening behind your back

You should've left with me

He made me his new wife

I loathe the nights

But the sunrises more

He blames me for your exit

Tell me that's not true

Tell me that's just his silly excuse 

But if it's true,why wouldn't you leave with me?

Didn't you love me enough?

Did you trust he'd take good care of me,

Or did the two of you agree?

I wish you never left me

Because I'll now follow you against your will

I can't take this anymore

I am already broken enough to be a decent human being

I can't even play with my fellow kids

I don't how being a kid feels

Mama, he's too good in their eyes

No one would believe me if I told on him

he's the church chairman

the People's choice

too righteous before their eyes

but to me, he's a Monster!

He's the man I should call Dad

But instead, I'm the 'woman' who warms his bed

the 'woman' who cleans his mess

Today is the last I'm playing wifely duties.

Because tomorrow morning I get to rest

I'll come looking for you,

Hopefully I'll find you.

They say there is life after death

I want to witness that,with you by my side

Be ready Ma, immediately he leaves for work

I'll leave for wherever you are

I'll leave a note,incase he wants to come looking for me

Hey God, if my house is not ready yet,

I'll share with momma in the meantime.

You took her from me without a warning

now it's my turn.

But hey,why did you let me suffer in that man's hands?

Aren't you the orphans' caregiver?

Anyway,now I'm here,take me home.

© CrucialArts 

ONE LAST CHANCE!

 This is it, I'm done!

she said

I'm tired of giving you chances

You're now taking advantage

If only you didn't show love some days

I'd have thought otherwise

That maybe you were taking advantage of me

Let me give you space

You need to work on yourself without me

I know I promised to be there, but I'm getting fed up

I am not proud of myself for walking away from you

But it's the best solution to remain sane

You promised to go to therapy, what changed?

I'll still be here if you need a shoulder

But as a friend, not your lover

In case you need to vent, I'm one call away

You know I love you, I always will

One day when this is all right, I might welcome you with open arms

don't take too long though, tomorrow isn't promised

In case you miss me at my usual place

Just know I moved on to the next

those were her last words, her last goodbye

I messed up, Yet again!

She slipped through my fingers, I need to put my shit together

else I might never get hold of her again

One last chance Is all I ask

I know I messed up,

And I am sorry for all I put you through

You deserve to be happy, loved and more

Yes, you have been giving me numerous chances,

I know it looks like I have been taking advantage

But that’s not it,

Your love is so foreign and it is an antidote for my ailments

It feeds my soul and at times, I have greedily gulped it 

Like a hungry child in her mum’s bosom

I know I need to work on myself

And I am grateful for the numerous times you held space for me

All I ask is one more last chance

To make it right

Both for you and me

This means so much to me and I am willing to embark on the journey 

With you by my side

I know it is too much to ask 

But, give me this last chance to make it right

We both deserve to be happy 

I want to be happy and healthy with you

Please, baby, give me one last chance.

Crucial X Doreen

NO GOODBYE???

 Why did you do it?

If I may ask, what was running through your mind?

Did you think of the people you were leaving behind?

That was so selfish of you

You only thought of yourself.

Why didn't you reach out for help?

Why did you conclude that people would judge you?

Why didn't you think of how they'd help instead?

You lost it, your people are traumatized

Your actions are so unsettling

You could have done better

I won't tell you to rest in peace

Because you also didn't leave us in peace

See you on the other side

When that time comes

I am sorry I left you as I did

The pain was too much 

I had to stop it somehow

I had to do it, I had to get out of this world

It was selfish of me but I couldn't go another day

With all this pain logged in my heart

It was too much for me to bear

I thought of everyone I was leaving behind

And I knew, finally, they would be at peace

I would not be there to burden them 

With my depression, whining and utter sadness

I was tired of being told I was too much 

When all I needed was to be heard and loved

I felt so alone and so rejected by everyone

I tried asking for help, but they were all busy

Some called me a nuisance and attention seeker 

I tried until I stopped trying

Forgive me,

Now, I know someone cared enough 

Forgive me,

For the pain that I have caused you.

Forgive me,

For I know I was loved

Let me rest in peace till we meet again.

© Doll X CrucialArts 

DRUG!!

 You were sure a drug

Why do I still think of you,

Very first thing in the morning

Last thought in the night,

And the wee hours of the morning

I was addicted, and still, I'm.

It's true they say drugs kill

I think you are the strong kind

And I've almost OD'ed on you

A number of times

I am about to register myself at a rehab facility, 

Before it's too late. 

I need out,

I need out now!

My mind is going crazy,

This is not healthy at all.

No, it's not healthy

But I wouldn't recommend you quit

Yes, I'm like a drug, but what about you?

You're always on my mind

I see you everywhere I go

In everyone I meet

How do you think that makes me feel?

If you go to rehab, I will too

Then in there, we shall meet

Guess what will happen next?

We shall never heal

This was meant to be

Let's put our pride aside

Because you're always in my dreams

Why don't you also be in my life?

I wouldn't mind you being a part of it

Let's rewrite our story

Make it beautiful this time around

Worth being read by even our friends

Till death do what it does best

Please, just say YES!

©Doll X CrucialArts 2023

I FOUND LOVE!

 I didn't know what love is before I met

Having someone open doors for me, 

Going on dates or receiving chocolate

Is what I assumed was love 

But then I met an introvert

My one and only who doesn't love loud places

Who values time spent together indoors

Cooking, cleaning,bonding and even Netflix and chill

She made me view love in a different angle

She was the ultimate definition of love

From the nights cuddled by her side

To the days spent talking about everything and anything

It felt like home being with her

My heart and body desired nothing more

I always look forward to end of day

When we'll return to the house together

Talk of how good or bad our day was

Tell how the hustle's been

Encourage each other of a better tomorrow

Because that's what love is

Having a shoulder to always lean

And that's new way of loving

As taught by my new found lover

Thank you for always encouraging me

For the many compliments you have showered me with

For the lengthy call when you are not around 

For always knowing how to put a smile on my face

Thank you for being my jewel

For reminding me how precious I am

You my darling are the definition of love 

Thank you for showing me how great it is to be loved 

I truly have found love that's best for me.

© Purple Diva X CrucialArts

A CHAT WITH DEATH!!

I had a chat with Death Last night 

I had some questions for it

Guess what it said

C; So Bro,why do you come for young kids?

D; Because I want them pure before they get to the world

C; But don't you know the smallest coffin hurts most?

D; But you guys,I see you mourning also the old

C; Yes we do,but the hurt ain't the same,

     I mean,the old has already had their share of life

     But the younglings?

D; What's the difference?

C; Okay, picture this

     A mother coming out of the hospital bed empty handed

Healing a Wound without the fruits of it?

Were it you, How would you feel?

D; Okay,I guess I get your point

C; Oh do you? Let's see

     You took 5 kids

      5 bro,why wouldn't you leave atleast 2 or three?

     The country was happy for the couple

    Then you decided to visit and do your worst

D; Woo,, don't blame me for that,the babies weren't to term yet

  How did you expect they'd survive?

C; They were in a nursery,I guess they'd have made it out

    Some or even all of them,right?

D; Do you even know how this works?

C; No I don't,how about you enlighten me

D; Nope,not now. I have some incomplete works to finish 

C; Which works? You have some families to visit and do the worst?

D; That's what I do, That's all I know how to do

C; Yeah, you're never happy seeing people smiling even one bit

D; That's not it, I am never happy myself. Why would I be sad alone?

C; How about,you just die and leave forever,never to come back? huh!

D; Is that even an option?

C; I don't know bro,just giving my opinion.

D; Okay,goodbye for now,I hope my answers were satisfying

C; Well,no they weren't. Goodbye,maybe I'll see you again tonight.