THE ABYSS YOU LEFT ME IN!!

    THE ABYSS YOU LEFT ME IN!!
In your eyes is where I knew love exists
And in the same eyes I experienced heartbreak
Did you really have to pass me through this
I thought with you I would walk down the isle
I always considered you my ride or die
But all you did to me was lie
You always hurt me and made me cry

The nights got colder and longer!
Coffee was not tasty anymore, it tasted quinine water. 
You always asked me to make latte for you, as we devoured the night together. 
Watching Game of Thrones. 
I been the queen to your throne. 
But i was thrown under the bus. 
Whack
Toxic teenage love.

I have avoided watching traffic at dusk
Because it always reminds me of you. 
The lights by then were bright and appealing
Honks and hoots were like a symphony
It was a spectre when the horizons would swallow the sun into a sunset oh so beautiful.
But now all that feels lifeless. 
Boring. 


In the numerous letters you sent me in high school, i had found a reason to believe in love.
I pinned them in my locker during class time, 
I took them to the dormitory with me at 9:45 P.M after group discussion.
And i would passionately kiss each of every letter you sent. Kiss, then sleep. 
It was a red letter day. Literally. 
But life comes at you fast, and in the same letters is where i tasted heartbreak.


Insomnia. 
I hid my last seen on WhatsApp because i didn't wish to see you online. 
I had no courage to block you, well i was new to such pain.
But inside i was caving in, i was still weak for you. 
I would stalk you, during my insomnia times. See if there were traces of you, and if so, traces of humanity left in you. 
Your statuses talked of someone who had moved on, someone who had found yet another one to deceive and deflower. 


But because time heals, yeah i did heal. 
Music helped, reading made me forget my troubles. 
I stopped wallowing in the abyss you left me in. 
I grew strong. Resilient. 
I was doing this for myself.
And for you reader who's spent  time to read me. 

#StaySafe 


…………………

™©

I WISH I HAD A MENTOR!!

I WISH I HAD A MENTOR

How would it be to have one who's a pastor?
Would he always talk about the scripture?
And talk of how the world will end in rapture
Would he ever tell me about day to day activities
Or I would have to know that from my neighbour
I wish to have a mentor

How would it be,to have one who is a doctor
Would she always tell me to drink enough water
And pass by the market buying some fruits
Would it always be about how to live healthy?
Or we would sometimes walk down the streets
Hand in hand narrating history
Or rather how our week has been
I don't want to always talk about balanced diet
I wish to have a mentor

How would it be, to have one who is a teacher?
Would they always compare life to Mathematics
Or they'll tell me it's as easy as ABC
I don't want to always talk English
Sometimes it would be nice to speak Swahili
And embrace our national language
I wish to have a mentor


How would it be, to have one who's a conductor
I think this would be a great idea
Because they're used to handling all kinds of people
And have stopped by so many stages already
So he will teach me how to control my anger
Teach me who and when to answer 
I wish to have a mentor

How would it be to have one who's a photographer?
I guess this would be the best feeling ever
They would help me view life in different angles
And teach me where and when to focus
Also teach me how to handle all forms of trials
I think I need a mentor who's a photographer
Because I truly wish to have a mentor
  © CrucialArts ✍️

WHAT IS LIFE!?

WHAT IS LIFE!?

Why does life have to be so indistinct?
Why does the world have to be so unfair?
I think I should just follow my instinct
I should just let the rope decide my fate
Or just take an overdose of this pills
What if I just throw myself into the sea?
And feed the crocodiles instead of the termites
How happy will they be to feed on such a sweet meal
But then again,how sad will my family be
For not giving me the 'last respect'
But what respect does a murderer deserve?
Shouldn't they be happy I've saved them many bills?
And having to meet every evening
Before deciding on Which day to let the soils swallow me
I've always had suicidal thoughts
Every time having different plots
Of how I'll end my life without much pain
But then again my family comes into my mind
What will happen to mama when am laid down 6 feet?
When she sees them throw soil on my coffin
With the pastor saying
"Dust unto dust and Ash unto Ash"
What will happen to my siblings?
Seeing their elder sister resting unwillingly
What example will I have set
Ofcourse heaven will not be so welcoming
So how will it be
Burning in hell endlessly?
Suicide is a sin
So my destination will only be one
But I've always wished to be in heaven
It's already my destined haven
So,,hey life!!
Please stop being too harsh
Be abit kind to me
My thoughts aren't so welcoming
To do this am not willing
   © CrucialArts ✍️